May 2007 - Today's World

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Today's World - May 2007

Retaliate Against High Gas Prices

May 14th 2007 20:35

Please Use Your Brain

Hello and good morning - Todaysworld.com.au is once again on line with a new blog (read column). My apologies for the jumbled up state of my last column - Time was running out and I got in such a hurry, I repeated myself a couple of times. Should be better this time.

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There was pretty good response to my last column with Bush or a terrorist (is that redundant?) driving his 1962 Ford Fairlane off an aircraft carrier. - I thought that was pretty funny stuff; although, I did not get any responses back with new captions; I was hoping for some real creative stuff. Please look at the previous column & picture, I'm hoping that whoever reads this column (blog) comes up with some funny stuff and gets back to me so that I can pass it on.
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Dog Etiquette

BUT OF MUCH MORE IMPORTANCE: Today is May 14, 2007 - If we, as consumers are going to have any say in the exorbitant price of gas, we need to take affirmative action. Please fill your car up with gas TODAY (or at least as much as you can afford) and DO NOT BUY ANY GAS TOMORROW (May 15, 2007) or for as long afterward as you can manage.

In my last column I reported that the last "GAS OUT" which occurred in 1997, the price of gas dropped the very next day by 30 cents a gallon - that's big stuff, folks. Just think, if we don't buy gas for two or three days longer what we can do to the gas prices at the dreaded pump. Gonzo stuff.
I went fishing over the weekend, and as many of you fisherpeople know, sometimes you have a lot of time to think between bites (if you are lucky enough to get any). Anyway my point is: Just think what we can do to the dastardly oil companies if we were to boycott the gas pumps the 15th of every month, not just tomorrow. WOW!
This is going to become a crusade for me. I am going to pound and pound my point. To begin with DO NOT BUY GAS ON MAY 15, 2007, and thereafter do not ever buy gas on the 15th of any month. I believe if we can get some real support on this thing, we can bring the oil mongers to their knees. LET'S DO IT WORLDWIDE, FOLKS! We can make this work if every reader sends this article to at least 10 friends (or more) and request those 10 (or more) to forward it on to as many friends as they can, and on and on. This could become really big.
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If you are a fan of Lee Ioccoca, go to
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OK, now on to some lighter stuff:
From Maryann of Oakland: (I may have run this before (not sure), but it sure seems worth doing it again:
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually men of Jewish descent are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldberg, but my friends call me Bubba.
Thanks Maryann for that funny, funny story.
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And here's a funny from Scott G. of Oakland:
The Dumbest kid in the world?
A young boy enters the barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "See that kid who just came in? He's the dumbest kid in the world....Watch, and I'll prove it to you."
The barber puts a one dollar bill in one hand and a five dollar bill in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?”
The boy remarks, "I'll take the one with the picture of George Washington on it; I don't know who the picture of that other guy is." He takes the one dollar bill and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" says the barber. "I've pulled that on him time-and-time again, but that kid never learns!"
Later, after he leaves, the barber's customer sees the same young boy coming out of an ice cream parlor. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the one dollar bill from the barber, instead of the two dollar bill?"
The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because, the day I take the two dollar bill, the game's over." bada-bing; bada-boom!
Good one, Scott - Thanks
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These funny signs from Don in Ukiah:

Funny Signs

Funny Signs II

Funny Signs III

This from my good friend Paul in Florida regarding the (GREAT GAS OUT)
Something else you may want to bring to your readers attention is that May 14 is the start of National cycle to work week. Why not kill two birds With one stone.

Paul in Florida

And yes, girls, that is a real picture of the real Paul. Thanks Paul
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Some pros and cons as regards the "GREAT GAS OUT" as submitted by Scott of Oakland, CA to ponder at Really Long Link
Even though this web site poo poos the effect of consumers not buying gas for one, two or three days, I still think it would have an effect on the pump prices.
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OK Folks; as Porky Pig says: "Tha, tha, that's all folks.---REMEMBER DO NOT BUY GAS ON MAYT 15, 2007 and please send the above Boycott Gas article to all your friends. See you next time.

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Mortgaging The House For Gas

May 11th 2007 23:33

Hello from Todaysworld.com.au. Please accept my apologies for being absent for so long if any one cares. Lot's of things going on in my life, but enough of that.
1. Report on my lead story last time:
In the French Presidential finals, Nicolas Sarkozy, considered Moderately conservative defeated socialist candidate Segolene Royal by about 53% to 46 %. I know the math doesn't add up, and, no, I don't know where the missing 2% went.
It is reported that Sarkozy is pro-United States. I wonder if Frances skies will open up for necessary military operations by her allies. Hmmm
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VERY IMPORTANT STUFF TO FOLLOW:
SOMETIME WITHIN THE LAST WEEK a radio station announced that summer gas prices are expected to exceed $4.00 /gallon. A "GAS OUT" has been declared by concerned consumers. DO NOT BUY GAS ON
MAY 15, 2007 (that's next Tuesday, folks) nationwide, hell: ALL GAS COMSUMERS WORLDWIDE: BOYCOTT GASOLINE TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2007 - That's Worldwide, folks.
During April 1997 a "gas out" was held by consumers in, as I understand it, the United States. Not sure. Anyway, the day after the 1997 "gas out," gas prices reportedly dropped 30/gal cents the very next day!!! HELLO, yes that was a reduction of 30 cents the very next day!!!
One estimate of gas companies' losses for lack of sales FOR OUR CURRENT PROPOSED GAS OUT is just short of $3 Billion (BILLION!). I don't know to which part of the world this estimate refers. But just think about it. Three Billion dollars not in the pocket Hello from Todaysworld.com.au. Please accept my apologies for being absent for so long if any one cares. Lot's of things going on in my life, but enough of that.
1. Report on my lead story last time:
In the French Presidential finals, Nicolas Sarkozy, considered Moderately conservative defeated socialist candidate Segolene Royal by about 53% to 46 %. I know the math doesn't add up, and, no, I don't know where the missing 2% went.
It is reported that Sarkozy is pro-United States. I wonder if Frances skies will open up for necessary military operations by her allies. Hmmm
------
VERY IMPORTANT STUFF TO FOLLOW:
SOMETIME WITHIN THE LAST WEEK a radio station announced that summer gas prices are expected to exceed $4.00 /gallon. A "GAS OUT" has been declared by concerned consumers. DO NOT BUY GAS ON
MAY 15, 2007 (that's next Tuesday, folks) nationwide, hell: ALL GAS COMSUMERS WORLDWIDE: BOYCOTT GASOLINE TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2007 - That's Worldwide, folks.
During April 1997 a "gas out" was held by consumers in, as I understand it, the United States. Not sure. Anyway, the day after the 1997 "gas out," gas prices reportedly dropped 30/gal cents the very next day!!! HELLO, yes that was a reduction of 30 cents the very next day!!!
One estimate of gas companies' losses for lack of sales FOR OUR CURRENT PROPOSED GAS OUT is just short of $3 Billion (BILLION!). I don't know to which part of the world this estimate refers. But just think about it. Three Billion dollars not in the pocket of the oil companies as it usually is, and we need less-expensive gas. BUT NOT ON MAY 15, 2007!!!
Just think, If this gas boycott thing can be stretched worldwide, I'll bet the oil companies top execs and Bush, et. al. have the following discussion: "Hell, boys; we've got to put this Iraq thing on the back burner; we got a real problem. The people are rebelling AND it's taking a lot of money out of all our pockets."
If a ONE DAY BOYCOTT will shock them and (probably lower gas prices), think of what we could do to the entire oil/gasoline consumer situation as it is presently organized if a WORLDWIDE boycott for 2 or 3 days is had - well you get the idea: by boycotting for as long as we can - Two, Three, Four, Five?... days. WOW! Go as far as you can with the tankful filled up on May 14, 2007. Yeah, yeah, I know this will give Chevron, Exxon and all the rest of the gas boys Great Big Profits for Monday May 14th; but totally off the table for MAY 15, 16, 17...? FILL UP (on May 14) AND MAKE IT LAST AS LONG AS YOU CAN. (Can we bring the price of gas down under two bucks a gallon? Let's try)
A real successful GAS OUT might even cause a hit on whatever trust fund situation Pres Bush has instituted during his tenure as head cowboy.
Email this article (or entire column) to 10 friends and ask them to email it to 10 of there friends, etc., etc., etc. We can bring these crooks to their knees with some concerted efforts. I have mailed a copy to the White House at comments@whitehouse.gov. just for fun; so can you.
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Photograph from Don in Ukiah shows a 1962 Ford Fairlane being driven off if a very large aircraft carrier. To date, there are two versions of the story about the picture.
Don reports that, after 27 days of intensive questioning while a 'guest' of the U.S. Navy aboard the carrier based in the Arabian Sea, the Navy gave the terrorist a 1962 Ford Fairlane and told him to get lost; so he did.

Navy Good Bye

Scott of Oakland has another take on the photo: He reports that it was our President George Walker Bush leaving the aircraft carrier after his successful "Mission Accomplished" speech (see more photos below aircraft carrier) (use your search engine with 'mission accomplished' - there's enough there that you will get a headache if you read it all in addition to suffering a major setback if you are currently a Bush supporter).
Do YOU have any guesses or knowledge regarding this 1962 Ford Fairlane being driven off the aircraft carrier? If so, go to "comments" at the end of this column and let me have 'em. I'll publish each and every one - this might be fun

George Bush Mission Accomplished

And here's W at the time of his "Mission accomplished" speech. Looks even more silly now, huh? (A flying cowboy?)

Mission Accomplished II

Not one of your smarter criminals:
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked to use his I.D. for an example. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

Quotable Quotes:
"First, it was not a strip bar; it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl" Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington D.C.
Comment: Riiiiight
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Here are some questions posed for all of us to ponder from our friend and humorist Maryann of Oakland, CA:
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it Quotable Quotes:
"First, it was not a strip bar; it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl" Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington D.C.
Comment: Riiiiight
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Here are some questions posed for all of us to ponder from our friend and humorist Maryann of Oakland, CA:
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the firstplace?
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Hope you enjoyed todaysworld.com.au column. If so, please vote and click on my sponsors' links - thanks and see you next time. AND DO NOT FORGET TO EMAIL THE "GAS OUT" ARTICLE (or the whole column) to at least 10 of your friends with the request that they forward it on to 10 of their friends, and so on. We consumers can regain control of this oil situation with just a little effort. DO NOT BUY GAS ON MAY 15, 2007 and for as long thereafter as possible.
Thanks for visiting. See you next time

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