Just To Make You Laugh
January 27th 2008 23:12
Expensive Gasoline, Golf, Sex, Best Ventriloquist Ever, Yoga and More from Today's World!!! Some funny stuff thanks to the help of Jon, Maryann, Scott, Craig and Don.
Fun on the Golf Course:
A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their
weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a
beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs
approaches them. She explains that the member who brought her
to the club for a round of golf had an emergency which called
him away and asks the trio whether she can join them.
Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the blonde thanks
them and says, "Look, fellas, I work in a topless bar as a dancer,
so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars,
have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything
that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But
I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't
try to coach me on how to play my shots."
With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first.
All eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place
her ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball
270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The
father's mouth is agape.
"That was beautiful," said the dad.
The blonde puts her driver away and says, "I really didn't get
into it and I should have faded it a little more."
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots
(she was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron
and lofts the ball within five feet of the hole.
The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left
a tricky little putt." After the son buries a long putt for a
par, dad two putts for a bogey and granddad overruns the green
with his pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double
bogey, the blonde taps in the five-footer for a birdie.
The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her
putter back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't
played much lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really
get into this next drive."
Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and
knocks the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards
away smack in the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the
round the statuesque blonde continues to amaze the guys,
quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par,
but has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a
par. She turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to
thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and
telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need
this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this
course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this
hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 25-year
old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and then show
him a good time the rest of the night."
The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the
green, carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says,
"Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit
it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right
into the cup."
The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter
as a plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to
hit it softly 10 inches to the right and run it left down that
little hogback, so it falls into the cup."
The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's
ball on the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's
a 'gimme' sweetheart. Your car or mine?"
------------------------
A good laugh for everyone!
[Note: This is Bob's column, please address comments to him, Theresa
]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
In Cochrane (NW of Calgary East of Banff and in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains are some spectacular Murals. Added to the uniqueness the fact that some of them are made up of many squares, each of which you can click on for a completely different effect!!!
Just click on this address - If that doesn't work, just copy and paste for some real entertainment: muralmosaic
---------------------------
BEAR HUNTING.
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it...... Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said: "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or ... we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative... So the black bear had his way with Frank.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said: "That was a big mistake, Frank...... That was my cousin andyou've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank. Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said: "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
--------------
[Note: this is Bob's column, please address comments to him. Thanks
THERE ARE TWO BASIC TYPES OF YOGA :
YOGA FROM INDIA
AND
YOGA FROM KENTUCKY
Well, that was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Please give my sponsors' links a click and a vote would be much appreciated. See you next time
it's a bird, it's a plane ...
windpower
battery included
moderate horsepower
Fun on the Golf Course:
A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their
weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a
beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs
approaches them. She explains that the member who brought her
to the club for a round of golf had an emergency which called
him away and asks the trio whether she can join them.
Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the blonde thanks
them and says, "Look, fellas, I work in a topless bar as a dancer,
so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars,
have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything
that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But
I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't
try to coach me on how to play my shots."
With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first.
All eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place
her ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball
270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The
father's mouth is agape.
"That was beautiful," said the dad.
The blonde puts her driver away and says, "I really didn't get
into it and I should have faded it a little more."
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots
(she was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron
and lofts the ball within five feet of the hole.
The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left
a tricky little putt." After the son buries a long putt for a
par, dad two putts for a bogey and granddad overruns the green
with his pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double
bogey, the blonde taps in the five-footer for a birdie.
The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her
putter back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't
played much lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really
get into this next drive."
Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and
knocks the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards
away smack in the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the
round the statuesque blonde continues to amaze the guys,
quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par,
but has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a
par. She turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to
thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and
telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need
this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this
course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this
hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 25-year
old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and then show
him a good time the rest of the night."
The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the
green, carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says,
"Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit
it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right
into the cup."
The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter
as a plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to
hit it softly 10 inches to the right and run it left down that
little hogback, so it falls into the cup."
The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's
ball on the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's
a 'gimme' sweetheart. Your car or mine?"
------------------------
A good laugh for everyone!
[Note: This is Bob's column, please address comments to him, Theresa
]
ticket to ride
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
In Cochrane (NW of Calgary East of Banff and in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains are some spectacular Murals. Added to the uniqueness the fact that some of them are made up of many squares, each of which you can click on for a completely different effect!!!
Just click on this address - If that doesn't work, just copy and paste for some real entertainment: muralmosaic
---------------------------
BEAR HUNTING.
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it...... Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said: "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or ... we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative... So the black bear had his way with Frank.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said: "That was a big mistake, Frank...... That was my cousin andyou've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank. Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said: "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
--------------
[Note: this is Bob's column, please address comments to him. Thanks
THERE ARE TWO BASIC TYPES OF YOGA :
YOGA FROM INDIA
yoga
AND
YOGA FROM KENTUCKY
Kentucky yoga
Well, that was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Please give my sponsors' links a click and a vote would be much appreciated. See you next time
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