Piercing One Liners...
February 17th 2008 23:29
Today's World: Questions that must be answered, Cars - most powerful Corvette yet, PT Cruiser, Body Piercing and Veterans;
Thanks to Dick, AOL, Craig, Don and others...
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one or 25 pronounced twoty five?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called "Poles", then why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a "pianist," but a person who drives a race car is not called a "racist?"If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If we are put on this Earth to help other people, what are the other people put on Earth for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and Ups were to merge, would they call it "Fed UP?"
Do Lipton Tea employees take "Coffee breaks?"
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Most Non-Oriental mothers feed their babies with tiny, little spoons and forks...Do most Oriental mothers use toothpicks?
Instead of putting pictures of criminals up in the Post Office, why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them when they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?
Whatever happened to Preparations "A" through "G?"
Did you ever notice that when you put the two words "The" and "ISR," it spells "THEIRS?"
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FOR YOU CAR BUFFS: See Corvette's newest (600 hp - 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds and lot's more) at autos aol
and here's a surprise -- Chrysler is planning to discontinue its PT Cruiser! What a hit that car was when it first came out, but apparently sales have slumped to the point of its' losing it's profitability.
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Parents: Be very wary when your child comes to you and wants that first ear piercing? You may want to skip this article if you are the least bit squeamish.
I don't know about you folks, but that picture sure gives me the willies!!!
There were more photos but Theresa was wincing, so we self-edited... they reminded me a little bit of the poor Pit Bull (English Bull Terrier, Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire, American Pit Bull - depending on your point of view - opinion) who had a run-in with a Porcupine as shown in a Todays World October 2007 column, with the difference that the poor dog didn't ask for its piercings (If you haven't seen the pictures of that poor dog, look on the left of this column under "Popular Posts" and click on "Bad Jokes and Pit Porcupines" for a most unusual photograph.
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ONE DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in his/her life,wrote a blank check made payable to The "United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it."
Author Unknown
--------------------
Ok; that's enough for today. Reminder: you might just find something you need by clicking on my sponsors' links, and if you enjoyed the column, a vote would be appreciated - it impresses the boss. See you next time
Thanks to Dick, AOL, Craig, Don and others...
I Have A Question
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called "Poles", then why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a "pianist," but a person who drives a race car is not called a "racist?"If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If we are put on this Earth to help other people, what are the other people put on Earth for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and Ups were to merge, would they call it "Fed UP?"
Do Lipton Tea employees take "Coffee breaks?"
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Most Non-Oriental mothers feed their babies with tiny, little spoons and forks...Do most Oriental mothers use toothpicks?
Instead of putting pictures of criminals up in the Post Office, why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them when they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?
Whatever happened to Preparations "A" through "G?"
Did you ever notice that when you put the two words "The" and "ISR," it spells "THEIRS?"
--------------------
FOR YOU CAR BUFFS: See Corvette's newest (600 hp - 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds and lot's more) at autos aol
and here's a surprise -- Chrysler is planning to discontinue its PT Cruiser! What a hit that car was when it first came out, but apparently sales have slumped to the point of its' losing it's profitability.
--------------------
Parents: Be very wary when your child comes to you and wants that first ear piercing? You may want to skip this article if you are the least bit squeamish.
Pierced
I don't know about you folks, but that picture sure gives me the willies!!!
There were more photos but Theresa was wincing, so we self-edited... they reminded me a little bit of the poor Pit Bull (English Bull Terrier, Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire, American Pit Bull - depending on your point of view - opinion) who had a run-in with a Porcupine as shown in a Todays World October 2007 column, with the difference that the poor dog didn't ask for its piercings (If you haven't seen the pictures of that poor dog, look on the left of this column under "Popular Posts" and click on "Bad Jokes and Pit Porcupines" for a most unusual photograph.
--------------------
ONE DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in his/her life,wrote a blank check made payable to The "United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it."
Author Unknown
--------------------
Ok; that's enough for today. Reminder: you might just find something you need by clicking on my sponsors' links, and if you enjoyed the column, a vote would be appreciated - it impresses the boss. See you next time
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