Thank Goodness For Dumb Criminals
February 25th 2007 17:40
NEWS:
“STUPID CRIMES AND CRIMINALS”:
A man and his girlfriend were robbing a convenience store. While waiting for her boyfriend to finish getting the money, the woman noticed a contest entry form. Thinking it would be cool to win, she filled out the form, complete with her name, address, and phone number. A few hours later the police were at the couple's house to arrest them.
----------
A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty Bag over his face to use as a mask to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the Hefty Bag and therefore was unable to see anything; consequently he was tackled by a brave and alert customer and subsequently arrested.
----------
NEWS:
BAD, BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKES:
Imagine reading that your husband or brother, who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years, is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!'
This experience happened to sixty people in April 2000 who read in the Opinia newspaper that their loved ones were going to be released from the Baia Mare prison in Romania. They made the long journey to the prison, only to learn that the paper had played an April Fool's joke on them. The Opinia later published an apology.
Views: I would hope so, but not much of a consolation!
----------
NEWS:
MORE BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKES
Glenn Howlett's colleagues at London city hall thought they had dreamed up a great gag. They sent him a memo informing him that the really big report he was working on was going to be due early, in just two weeks. The tip-off was that the memo was dated April 1st. Ha Ha. Except Howlett didn't realize it was a joke. He received the memo while on vacation and immediately cut his vacation short and phoned the office to tell everyone to start getting busy. But as he contemplated the new deadline he worked himself up into an increasing state of panic, until soon he began to experience heart palpitations. Finally he collapsed from the stress and had to take leave from work. As he was recovering he realized it just wasn't worth risking his health to finish the report, so he filed for early retirement. At which point someone told him the early deadline was just a joke. He responded by suing for damages. As a consequence of his lawsuit, city hall banned employees from pulling any more pranks.
VIEWS:
Good result, but what about Mr. Howlett's damages; it seems he suffered as a result of the prank.
----------
NEWS:
The film National Lampoon's Vacation includes a scene in which Chevy Chase ties a dog to the bumper of his car, then forgets the dog is there and drives away.
Inspired by this scene, Paul Goobie tied a dead Chihuahua to the bumper of his co-worker's car. His co-worker, Kevin Meloy, got in the car and drove off, unaware that the chihuahua was there. Obviously passing motorists were horrified. But what made the situation even worse was that Meloy was deaf, so he couldn't hear the other motorists frantically honking at him. Happily he drove on for miles until finally someone was able to get his attention. Police charged Goobie with unlawful disposal of a dead animal.
VIEWS:
Serves Goobie right; some funny joke, huh? Sometimes, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
----------
OLDER NEWS: FINAL BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKE!!! The Iraqi Ambassador's Final Joke on April 1, 2003, as thousands of American-led coalition troops stormed across Iraq, the Iraqi ambassador to Russia, Abbas Khalaf Kunfuth, held a press conference in Moscow. Many were expecting him to announce that Iraq conceded defeat. Instead Kunfuth chose this moment to hold a gag press conference. Holding up a piece of paper that he identified as a news flash from Reuters, he read aloud from it: "The Americans have accidentally fired a nuclear missile into British forces, killing seven." Immediately the room full of reporters went silent with shock. Then Kunfuth grinned and shouted 'April Fools!' Only a few days after this unexpected moment of levity, the Iraqi government completely collapsed.
VIEWS:
Sounds like a very sick mind trying to be funny regarding a very serious situation. Shame on him!
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
““Quit worrying about your health, it’’ll go away”” - Robert Orben
----------
JOKE OF THE DAY: ““WHY”” QUESTIONS:
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy booze when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
----------
CLICHE OF THE DAY - Upper hand
Meaning: Control of a situation.
Example:If you are wondering who has the upper hand in your relationship, the next time you get up to fetch drinks, take a look on the sofa. There you will find that person.
Origin: This phrase originated with the advent of sandlot baseball. In order to determine which team would bat first, one player would grasp the baseball bat at the lower end. A player from the opposing team would then place his hand directly above the first player's hand. They would alternate hands up the bat until the end was reached and one of the players had the "upper hand" making him the winner, and his team would bat first.
Thanks for visiting; hope you enjoyed my blog today; if so, please vote and don’’t forget to click on my sponsors’’ links; I get credit for this!
“STUPID CRIMES AND CRIMINALS”:
A man and his girlfriend were robbing a convenience store. While waiting for her boyfriend to finish getting the money, the woman noticed a contest entry form. Thinking it would be cool to win, she filled out the form, complete with her name, address, and phone number. A few hours later the police were at the couple's house to arrest them.
----------
A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty Bag over his face to use as a mask to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the Hefty Bag and therefore was unable to see anything; consequently he was tackled by a brave and alert customer and subsequently arrested.
NEWS:
BAD, BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKES:
Imagine reading that your husband or brother, who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years, is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!'
This experience happened to sixty people in April 2000 who read in the Opinia newspaper that their loved ones were going to be released from the Baia Mare prison in Romania. They made the long journey to the prison, only to learn that the paper had played an April Fool's joke on them. The Opinia later published an apology.
Views: I would hope so, but not much of a consolation!
----------
NEWS:
MORE BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKES
Glenn Howlett's colleagues at London city hall thought they had dreamed up a great gag. They sent him a memo informing him that the really big report he was working on was going to be due early, in just two weeks. The tip-off was that the memo was dated April 1st. Ha Ha. Except Howlett didn't realize it was a joke. He received the memo while on vacation and immediately cut his vacation short and phoned the office to tell everyone to start getting busy. But as he contemplated the new deadline he worked himself up into an increasing state of panic, until soon he began to experience heart palpitations. Finally he collapsed from the stress and had to take leave from work. As he was recovering he realized it just wasn't worth risking his health to finish the report, so he filed for early retirement. At which point someone told him the early deadline was just a joke. He responded by suing for damages. As a consequence of his lawsuit, city hall banned employees from pulling any more pranks.
Good result, but what about Mr. Howlett's damages; it seems he suffered as a result of the prank.
----------
NEWS:
The film National Lampoon's Vacation includes a scene in which Chevy Chase ties a dog to the bumper of his car, then forgets the dog is there and drives away.
Inspired by this scene, Paul Goobie tied a dead Chihuahua to the bumper of his co-worker's car. His co-worker, Kevin Meloy, got in the car and drove off, unaware that the chihuahua was there. Obviously passing motorists were horrified. But what made the situation even worse was that Meloy was deaf, so he couldn't hear the other motorists frantically honking at him. Happily he drove on for miles until finally someone was able to get his attention. Police charged Goobie with unlawful disposal of a dead animal.
VIEWS:
Serves Goobie right; some funny joke, huh? Sometimes, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
----------
OLDER NEWS: FINAL BAD APRIL FOOL’S JOKE!!! The Iraqi Ambassador's Final Joke on April 1, 2003, as thousands of American-led coalition troops stormed across Iraq, the Iraqi ambassador to Russia, Abbas Khalaf Kunfuth, held a press conference in Moscow. Many were expecting him to announce that Iraq conceded defeat. Instead Kunfuth chose this moment to hold a gag press conference. Holding up a piece of paper that he identified as a news flash from Reuters, he read aloud from it: "The Americans have accidentally fired a nuclear missile into British forces, killing seven." Immediately the room full of reporters went silent with shock. Then Kunfuth grinned and shouted 'April Fools!' Only a few days after this unexpected moment of levity, the Iraqi government completely collapsed.
VIEWS:
Sounds like a very sick mind trying to be funny regarding a very serious situation. Shame on him!
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
““Quit worrying about your health, it’’ll go away”” - Robert Orben
----------
JOKE OF THE DAY: ““WHY”” QUESTIONS:
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy booze when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
----------
CLICHE OF THE DAY - Upper hand
Meaning: Control of a situation.
Example:If you are wondering who has the upper hand in your relationship, the next time you get up to fetch drinks, take a look on the sofa. There you will find that person.
Origin: This phrase originated with the advent of sandlot baseball. In order to determine which team would bat first, one player would grasp the baseball bat at the lower end. A player from the opposing team would then place his hand directly above the first player's hand. They would alternate hands up the bat until the end was reached and one of the players had the "upper hand" making him the winner, and his team would bat first.
Thanks for visiting; hope you enjoyed my blog today; if so, please vote and don’’t forget to click on my sponsors’’ links; I get credit for this!
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Comment by Wendi
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Theresa
Technology Bloggers
Today's World
Borderless World
Penny Smart
Thank you for visiting. Appreciate the encouraging compliment
Visited your blogs, very enjoyable! Will be back.
Glad you enjoyed the fun.
Regards,
Theresa (and Bob)
Comment by Theresa
Technology Bloggers
Today's World
Borderless World
Penny Smart
Glad you stopped by. Enjoyed reading your blog.
Maybe we should make every Monday's blog just for fun - anything to get through Monday!
Regards,
Theresa & Bob
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I might try and retain that idea for my blog too....
Glad you enjoyed my blog too