E.T. and Murphy's Laws
February 13th 2007 00:29
Just Go At Your Own Speed
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947,
witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well- known
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic incident in Roswell, New Mexico, the following persons, amongst others of course, were born:
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.,
Hillary Rodham, Clinton
John F. Kerry,
William Jefferson Clinton,
Howard Dean,
Nancy Pelosi,
Dianne Feinstein,
Charles E. Schumer,
and Barbara Boxer
See what happens when E.T. has children?
FUNNY NEWS:
“Fastest State Trouper alive?”
In most of the United States, there is a policy of
checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway
when the temperatures drop down to single
digits or below.
About 3 AM, one very cold morning, Texas State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call regarding a car off the shoulder of the road outside Shattuck, Texas.
He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running.
Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the Trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a clearly visible, nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.
The driver came awake when the Trooper tapped on the window.
Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the State Trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into 'drive' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but the car was still stationary, stuck in the snow with its wheels spinning.
Trooper Nixon, apparently having a great sense of humor, began running in place next to the ‘‘speeding’’, but still stationary car.
The driver was totally freaked, thinking the Trooper was actually keeping up with him. This went on for about 30 seconds, until Trooper Nixon yelled at the man to .. 'Pull over!'
The man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine.
Needless to say, the man from Dumas, Texas was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Oklahoma who could run 50 miles per hour.
AND YOU THOUGHT COPPERS HAD NO SENSE OF HUMOR
MORE FUNNY NEWS:
45 year-old Amy Brasher of San
Antonio, Texas took her car into her mechanic for a simple oil change and was much surprised at her subsequent arrest.
Seems like the mechanic found eighteen (18) packages of marijuana packed in the engine compartment of Amy’’s car and reported his find to the local police. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
AND YOU WONDER WHY THEY CALL IT “DOPE”
DON’’T FORGET YOUR ANNIVERSARY!!!
Joe was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She said to him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds flat, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."
The next morning, Joe got up really early before work. When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and there she saw a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house. She opened it, and found (ready for this?) a brand new bathroom scale.
JOE IS NOT YET ABLE TO RECEIVE VISITORS...
TODAY’’S CLICHE: “Can't hold a candle to “
Meaning: To be far less competent or have far less skills than someone else.
Example: When it comes to performance, a Corvette ‘‘can't hold a candle’’ to a Porsche. (An opinion not necessarily this writer’’s. So you Corvette lovers -Please no nasty feedback - Thanks)
Origin: Before electric lights, someone performing a task in the dark needed a helper to hold a candle to provide light while the task was performed - Much as a helper might hold a flashlight today.
Holding the candle is of course the less challenging role. Someone who is not even or just qualified to hold the candle is much less competent than the person performing the actual task.
TODAY’S QUOTE: Marion Barry, while mayor of Washington DC actually said: “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL NEWS!!! How do these people get elected???
MORE MURPHY-LAW STUFF:
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking - confuses them, maybe?
It is better to be looked over than to be overlooked.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
NICE TO SEE YOU; SEE YOU NEXT TIME, AND PLEASE VOTE AND CLICK ON THE SPONSORS’ LINKS FOR POINTS FOR ME IF YOU ENJOYED THIS LITTLE BIT OF FRIVOLITY -THANKS
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