Golf Spelled Backwards is Flog
May 7th 2008 22:14
Hello again from Todays World. This mostly courtesy of Janice and Maryann for today's funnies (golf quotes and a great joke) and serious information regarding spotting people having strokes - this as a public informational
Some more classic quotes regarding that sometimes (mostly) frustrating game of golf:
"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course" --Hank Aaron
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing" - Phyllis Diller
"I'm very lucky. If it wasn't for golf, I don't know what I'd be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I' have been a plant somewhere" - Lee Trevino
"Golf has more rules than any other game because golf has more cheaters than any other game" - Bruce Lansky
"On a recent survey, 80% of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20% lied" - Bruce Lansky
"I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's call an eraser" - Arnold Palmer
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly Ill designed for the purpose" - Winston Churchill
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle" - unknown
"Tee your ball high.. air offers less resistance than dirt" -Jack Nicklaus
"Why is it that when you tell yourself 'don't hit it in the water', your body only seems to hear the word 'water'"
-unknown
"The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name.. and they say golf is a quiet game"
-unknown
"Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink" Bob Hope
"Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole" - Tommy Armour -corollary: "clubs don't float"
"He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie"
-Mickey Mantle
----
A man owned a small farm in Wisconsin. The Wisconsin State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them" demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer: "There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus room and board.
"Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to - the half wit," says the agent.
"That would be me" replied the farmer
----
Now for some serious stuff folks - this could actually save a life someday, so please pay attention:
Recognizing when a person is having a STROKE.
First of all remember the first three letters of the word "STR" If a person stumbles or falls or acts out of the ordinary, ask them to "S"mile; ask them to "T"alk and speak a simple sentence (i.e. 'It is sunny out today"; ask them to "R"aise both arms - STR, simple, huh?
Further, you might ask them to stick out their tongue - if the tongue is 'crooked - if it goes to one side or another, this may also indicate a stroke.
Some neurologists say that if they can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours, the effects may be able to be totally reversed.
Use your common sense and, if you suspect that some around you has, had or is having a STROKE, call 911/999 immediately and describe your observations to the dispatcher. We might be able to do some real good here, folks.
Well, that's all I've got for today. If you enjoyed or got some useful information fro the above, please click on my sponsors' link and give me a vote. Thanks for reading.
Some more classic quotes regarding that sometimes (mostly) frustrating game of golf:
"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course" --Hank Aaron
Phyliss Diller & Bob Hope
"I'm very lucky. If it wasn't for golf, I don't know what I'd be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I' have been a plant somewhere" - Lee Trevino
Lee Trevino
"Golf has more rules than any other game because golf has more cheaters than any other game" - Bruce Lansky
"On a recent survey, 80% of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20% lied" - Bruce Lansky
"I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's call an eraser" - Arnold Palmer
Sir Winston
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly Ill designed for the purpose" - Winston Churchill
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle" - unknown
"Tee your ball high.. air offers less resistance than dirt" -Jack Nicklaus
"Why is it that when you tell yourself 'don't hit it in the water', your body only seems to hear the word 'water'"
-unknown
"The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name.. and they say golf is a quiet game"
-unknown
Bob Hope
"Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole" - Tommy Armour -corollary: "clubs don't float"
"He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie"
-Mickey Mantle
----
A man owned a small farm in Wisconsin. The Wisconsin State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them" demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer: "There's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus room and board.
"Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to - the half wit," says the agent.
"That would be me" replied the farmer
----
Now for some serious stuff folks - this could actually save a life someday, so please pay attention:
Recognizing when a person is having a STROKE.
First of all remember the first three letters of the word "STR" If a person stumbles or falls or acts out of the ordinary, ask them to "S"mile; ask them to "T"alk and speak a simple sentence (i.e. 'It is sunny out today"; ask them to "R"aise both arms - STR, simple, huh?
Further, you might ask them to stick out their tongue - if the tongue is 'crooked - if it goes to one side or another, this may also indicate a stroke.
Some neurologists say that if they can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours, the effects may be able to be totally reversed.
Use your common sense and, if you suspect that some around you has, had or is having a STROKE, call 911/999 immediately and describe your observations to the dispatcher. We might be able to do some real good here, folks.
Well, that's all I've got for today. If you enjoyed or got some useful information fro the above, please click on my sponsors' link and give me a vote. Thanks for reading.
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