Grandkids & Puns
October 30th 2007 23:28
On the lighter side - here's a couple of pictures of the grandkids which of course, I found amusing:
Here's Wyatt after finishing off a plate of Texas Beans:
and one of Daughter Katy and Ian
------------
A close look at Man's "Mid-life crisis" and solution by Woman by Maryann of Oakland:
WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, AN OLD CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10 INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25 YEAR OLD BLOND.
"NOW WE HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING AN OLD CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10 INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
Funny stuff, Maryann, thanks
-------------------
And finally, some quickies, again courtesy of Maryann, that you might want to try on your friends... actually some of them are pretty funny:
"After you've read them, you'll either:
a) Wish that you didn't have a computer or,
b) Wish that I didn't have a computer:
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma MaGandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it might be good). a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did."
Ouch!!! And don't blame me... talk again to Maryann - she bears all responsibility. Thanks, kiddo.
If you enjoyed, please give my sponsors' links a click and give me a vote. It would be much appreciated!!!
Goodbye from Today's World. See you next time - I hope
Here's Wyatt after finishing off a plate of Texas Beans:
Wyatt Eats Beans
and one of Daughter Katy and Ian
Katy & Ian
------------
A close look at Man's "Mid-life crisis" and solution by Woman by Maryann of Oakland:
WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, AN OLD CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10 INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25 YEAR OLD BLOND.
"NOW WE HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING AN OLD CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10 INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
Funny stuff, Maryann, thanks
-------------------
And finally, some quickies, again courtesy of Maryann, that you might want to try on your friends... actually some of them are pretty funny:
"After you've read them, you'll either:
a) Wish that you didn't have a computer or,
b) Wish that I didn't have a computer:
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma MaGandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it might be good). a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did."
Ouch!!! And don't blame me... talk again to Maryann - she bears all responsibility. Thanks, kiddo.
If you enjoyed, please give my sponsors' links a click and give me a vote. It would be much appreciated!!!
Goodbye from Today's World. See you next time - I hope
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