He's B a a a c k
October 1st 2007 23:19
Bob's Back
Hello to Today's World - to my readers, if any of you are still out there - this is my first blog since May 14, 2007 (approx. 5 months); I have no excuses except lot's of other things going on; however, I'm back and decided to start with some funnies.
From Peter in Idaho:
Bill called in sick telling the boss that he had headaches, stomach aches, his legs hurt and he was feeling bum overall. The boss, having a large shipment to go out that day and really needing Bill, told him "I really need you; when I feel like this I tell my wife the situation, and we have sex. Give it a try and see if it helps.
Two hours later Bill called up and tells him he followed the bosses' advice and says he feels great and will be in shortly; he also tells the boss "You have a really nice house. Thanks, Pete
This from Maryann in Oakland - It's called "Rearranging the letters":
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters - DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters - BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters - MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters - A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters - THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters - HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters - HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters - CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters - LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters - IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters - THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters - TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters - WOMAN HITLER (Just kidding, Mom)
Thanks, Maryann
From Cindy in Santa Rosa:
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in
the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o'clock in the morning."
He slams the door and returns to bed.
Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!"
Did you help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we
broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"
Yes," comes back the answer.
Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
Thanks, Cindy
And finally, this from my friend, Don in Ukiah
A Plumber With a Sense of Humor
What You Need, A Funny Plumber
Funny stuff, Don; thanks
And to all you readers, please don't forget to click on my advertisers' links - lot's of good stuff there. Thanks and I'll see you soon.
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